Just in case you didn’t believe me, this is one of my side blogs. My normal blog is http://lokidokeey.tumblr.com/. It’s just easier to post the samples on my side blog. - Aria.
- Paragraph sample number one (IC):
- Paragraph sample number two (OOC):
There was always something about night-time that appealed to Jasper. Ever since he was a child the darkness had become an obsession. He loved the way the stars would shine bright, the way the moon stood out – to his innocent eyes it was pure beauty. Something he could only read about but never truly see – until now of course. It was odd – only at night did Jasper feel young. He felt free, like he could just keep on screaming and no one not even is inner demons could stop him. That feeling was something he wanted to last forever – the feeling of being forever young.
As Jasper stepped out into the cold brisk night it all hit him. That feeling he craved all day, it was truly magical. His eyes wandered as he continued to walk around the city. It had always fascinated him how different everyone was. To his right he could see a mother with her child, then to his left he could see a homeless man fighting the cold. He never understood why some people were blessed with the gift of wealth and others with nothing. It hit him hard knowing that some people don’t have a bed to sleep in – not even water to drink. His mind would constantly make him feel guilty for all the blessings her has. Sometimes he questioned why he was one of the lucky ones. Jasper despised himself – he never understood why other humans liked him. The thought made him feel physically ill.
Although making videos was his passion he never understood the appeal of himself to others. His fans constantly send him messages saying how he saved their lives or how incredible he is. It did put a smile on his face knowing that he had saved someone – but he never understood how or why he was the one that saved them. Whenever Jasper looked in the mirror he instantly contemplated punching it. Seeing his own reflection was something he hated more than anything. Whenever he looked into a mirror his mind would become full of horrific thoughts. All he wanted to do was destroy himself. He saw punching a mirror as two positive. One, he wouldn’t have to look at himself anymore. Two, he was able to watch blood pouring out of his own fist and finally feel something.
For some reason whenever Jasper went on a walk at night those thoughts would continue to flood his mind, almost drowning him. Until eventually they would just fade away with each step he would take. That’s what he loved about being alone – he’d have to suffer for only a couple minutes, then suddenly it would all just go away.
Except tonight was different. No matter how hard he tried or how much he looked at the dark sky his mind would still be filled with numb memories and emotional trauma.
Jasper sighed to himself, trying to shake the thoughts out of his mind. “Shut up.” he whispered harshly as he crossed a busy road – biting down on his pale lips, causing blood droplets to swim on his taste buds. Suddenly a car beeped at home, almost running him over. Jasper was so caught up in his own thoughts that he forgot about reality. “Sorry.” He shouted as he ran across the rest of the road. Once he reached the other side he noticed a homeless man sitting alone. Slowly he walked towards the man, placing a $50 bill beside him. The man’s eyes widen as he looked up at Jasper, “Thank you.” He said as he got up to hug Jasper.
A smile tugged on Jasper’s lips as he hugged the man back, mumbling, “It’s okay, you deserve it.” He said goodbye to the man as he continued to walk, the heavy weight feeling fading away with his steps. That sweet smile he had stayed a little longer as he sat down on the park bench – contemplating everything.
He knew he had to make a new video for his viewers and honestly he wanted to speak from the heart, but Jasper knows he will be nothing but that funny guy who does videos. Telling his viewers that he feels nothing that he is truly terrified of being alive will cause them to either worry or just unsubscribe. The only way he could express his true thoughts was by doing a cover of another sad song. That’s what he did – acoustic covers of songs that describe his inner demons, and yet no one noticed. No one saw the tears that rolled down his cheek bones as he turned off the camera, the way he breathed heavily whilst singing, the pain in his eyes. He wanted to tell the world about his inner demons, but they wouldn’t understand. All they see is another YouTuber making funny videos – not someone who is afraid of being alive.
Suddenly his breath caught in his chest as a tear drop escaped his right eye, running down his cheek bone. His nails dug deeply into his jeans as he started to feel a stinging sensation on his wrists. Gently he rolled down his right sleeve – revealing not one but dozens of deep cuts, some still had fresh blood dripping out of them. His heart started to pound as he gently ran his finger trips over the scars. It was a horrific sight, something no one would be able to stand. And yet it pleased Jasper. For that one moment his numbness was gone and his inner demons won the never ending battle deep within his mind. He was still trapped in his mind, but he felt free.
- Paragraph sample number three (OOC):
Cold chills ran down her spine sharply as she continued to roll around her drenched sheets. Her body had been restless for nights on end. The highest amount of sleep she would get was maybe two hours – and even then that’s if she’s lucky.
Her heart continued to race as she dug her teeth into her dry pale lips. Even though her eyes where shut she was still in touch with reality – maybe that’s what made those nightmares so horrific. Every move she made felt real. She could taste the blood pouring onto her taste buds as she continued to dream. Her body would spring up as she cried for help – not knowing if that scene was real or not. The thought of him was still lingering in her mind. Out of all the monsters she had heard of and scene he was the most horrific. Even though she couldn’t place his face everything about him frightened her to the core of her own bones. Whenever she would hear of the murder shivers would run down her entire body. Whenever she would think of his name she would gasp for air. Whenever she would read the letter her entire body would shut down in complete fear. All she wanted to do was tell someone or even run away – but Selena knew he would find her. That’s what he said anyway – he would find her and kill her. Her nightmares were starting to become a reality.
Slowly she drifted off to a proper sleep, but sadly her nightmare was still alive in her mind. The dream hasn’t changed at all – in fact it always remains the same. She starts off by walking slowly through a playground. There are children running around – cheering, being the innocent creatures they are. It puts a slight smirk on her face – causing a warm filling to flow through her cold body. That’s the only part she enjoyed, mainly because that feeling is starting to become a distant memory. As she walked slowly through the playground a figure would start to appear. He’s always dressed the same – a black hoodie and pants. Her steps started to slow down as she got closer and her smile would fade away – so would the sound of the innocent children and pure happiness. As soon as the figure becomes clear the darkness starts to take over. The sky turns pitch black – except there are no stars nor moon. It’s just pure darkness. Cold chills would run down her spine as she opened up her mouth to speak, but before she could say anything her eyes noticed something. He was holding a sharp blade – the blade was drenched in blood. Her eyes would widen as she tried to cry out for help – and yet no one could hear her screams. She couldn’t even hear her own cries. He starts to move slowly as she tries to cry out once again. She tried to runaway – but her legs refuse to move. Tears would slowly stream down her fragile cheek bones. Within a second the man then stabs her right in the stomach. Her eyes widen as she looked at him – her body frozen in complete fear. She mutters, “Who are you?” He chuckles to himself as he whispers harshly into her ear, “I am Smiley.”
Her dream then ends – never seeing his true face.
Suddenly Selena’s body jolts as she digs her nails deeply into the sheets. She gasps – searching for air as she feels her chest pounding fast with each movement. She tried to move, but her body is frozen in fear. The room is in complete darkness, causing her to have a severe panic attack. Tears start to stream down her cheek bones as her teeth sink into her flaky bottom lip. More blood starts to pour out gently as she continued to gasp for air. The night was filled with darkness as the cold from the wind lingered on her skin. Her sheets were drenched in her very own sweat and tears. Her body shivered as she caught her breath. Her eyes closed gently as she unhooked her bottom lip. Her breathing got heavier as she mumbled to herself. The wind ran throw her still body as she whispered harshly, “Please..”
Her eyes opened slowly as her hand reached for the lamp – turning on the light. The room lit up and the light caused a sudden blindness as she stood up slowly. Her legs were shaking from the cold – her entire body was covered in goose bumps. She walked slowly over to the bathroom; her breathing was short and quick as her heart beat increased with each step. She looked into the mirror – brushing her hair back. Her bottom lip was dripping with blood. Gently she wiped it away with her finger tips, her eyes still focused on the mirror. Her hand ran slowly through her long hair. Suddenly her eyes got a glimpse of something – it was the letter. She shut her eyes trying to forget it – begging herself to. As she opened her eyes she suddenly saw a figure in the mirror – a man in a black hoodie. Her eyes widened as she turned around, only seeing no one. Her breathing started to quicken as her heart pounded rapidly in her chest. Her body turned swiftly as she looked around the bathroom. She couldn’t handle it anymore. Her lungs screamed out, “Leave me alone!” Her eyes started to release more tear drops as she turned to look into the mirror. Without realising it her own fist slammed into the glass, causing a large shatter. She cried out once again falling onto the floor with her bloody hand. Her legs curled up to her chest as she sat in the corner, crying herself to sleep. Her hand continued to bleed out as she closed her eyes.
Her lips gently whispered, “Please..”